Factions of Jalopnik

"In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you" (hoontheangelsing) 04/03/2014 at 19:21 • Filed to: None

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So Jezebel made a "map of bros". I figured that us Oppos should make a graphic of the factions of Jalopnik.

Here are the ones I can think of (and examples of their "members)

Wagon Mafia:Automatch Tom and 25% of Jalopnik

Porschephiles: Travis Okulski, Stef Schrader, Noah the Porsche Guy,etc

Water boys (VW fans): Jason Torchinsky, Red MK VI.

Pedantists who have differing opinions than the norm: Victorious Secret and yours truly (BECAUSE I LIKE THE COUNTRYMAN JCW DAMMIT)

Can you guys think of anymore?

vdub_nut: scooter snob > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:22

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WHERE DO I GO?

Your boy, BJR > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:24

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Then there's us early '50s-mid '60s british roadster fans.

Scary__goongala! > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:24

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Diesel Dudes? myself and Agrajag included

AthomSfere > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:24

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The "If t'ain't Mustang it ain't car" faction...

The VeeDubs are reliable crowd...

CPT Speedbump > vdub_nut: scooter snob 04/03/2014 at 19:24

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I'd like to know the same thing..guessing you like VW so Water boys? ..but I like VW as well, but wouldn't fit in that...my VW is aircooled, not water cooled!

N/A POWAAAHH > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:25

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The Bandits: Trans AM owners

V6 Kids Klub: Camry drivers

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > vdub_nut: scooter snob 04/03/2014 at 19:25

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Anon > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:25

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The weird anime people. Me, Nibby, Battery Tender Unnecessary, Nighthawk, Sparf, and Dogisabob are the ones who I can think of off the top of my head.

crowmolly > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:26

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Not including the Classic American guys?

Bandit > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:27

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Swedish meatballs (Volvo and saab nuts)

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:28

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The 86rs? The Boxer Rebellion? haha FoSTer parents, I like that. Alfa (Fe)Males...

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:28

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fugging mobile post SNAFU

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:31

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Model Maniacs!

Me, el_uly, frosteds, many others :D

KirkyV > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:31

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I like hatchbacks; French hatchbacks in particular. I'm not sure there's a specific 'French hatchback' faction, though, so I guess I'm just in the 'French car lover' group, or potentially some kind of 'French car owner' subgroup.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > CPT Speedbump 04/03/2014 at 19:34

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I was mostly joking, but I'm ok with waterboy status, unless there's one for weird attachments to Saturn.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:35

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What of the Miata Zealots? The Oil Burners? All the new FoST-er Parents?

What am I - a ///Moron?

Gamecat235 > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:35

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I'm confused by two things... one: what the heck is a water boy and how does it relate to VW, and two, why are there two groups for the same thing (VW and Porsche)?

(maintain straight face, maintain straight face, maintain straight face)

CPT Speedbump > vdub_nut: scooter snob 04/03/2014 at 19:36

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I wasn't, I really dont know where I'd go D: Wannabe drriiiffftoooooo's maybe?

vdub_nut: scooter snob > CPT Speedbump 04/03/2014 at 19:38

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Airheads.

JR1 > crowmolly 04/03/2014 at 19:38

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Our faction is the best!

Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 04/03/2014 at 19:39

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Me as well.

Sn210 > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:40

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car pronographers: myself, ed-petrolhead, nighthawkwill, 1337hp, Automatch, many others

Real pronographers: part-vi, amateur, many others

Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull > Scary__goongala! 04/03/2014 at 19:40

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I like diesels and even DD one, notsure how exclusive I am.

desertdog5051 > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:42

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65-75 Pontiac fans; desertdog5051, Bandit, Takuro Spirit, et al.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 04/03/2014 at 19:43

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Yeah!

More maniac is better!

Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:44

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Antique offroad: me, thebloody, party-VI, mehugtree, Pearson, cochise, and some others.

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > KirkyV 04/03/2014 at 19:45

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Free French Resistance

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > CPT Speedbump 04/03/2014 at 19:48

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The "Water" comes from WaterFest (Gathering of the Juggalos for VW Fans) and from the mispronunciation of Worthersee

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:49

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How about Knuckleheads, like me, Bandit and Takuro who are into unruly Muscle Cars?

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > Your boy, BJR 04/03/2014 at 19:49

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You're the "Mad Men" (for maintaining, loving, and owning troublesome cars)

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 04/03/2014 at 19:50

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Don't forget about me! :D

Bandit > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:50

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Malaise Maniacs (People who like 70s American cars): me.

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > Gamecat235 04/03/2014 at 19:51

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YOU NEVER, EVER TELL A PORSCHEPHILE THAT THEIR CAR IS PART OF VW OR IS DESCENDED FROM VW. THEY WILL PUNCH YOU.

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > Anon 04/03/2014 at 19:51

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Otaku

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:52

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Planelopnik Squadron is a must.

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t 04/03/2014 at 19:53

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86rs=Wannabe JDM nation

Alfas= Alfisti

Scary__goongala! > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 04/03/2014 at 19:54

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The internet is not exclusive, you fit the bill just fine my friend

Your boy, BJR > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:54

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I sadly don't own. I prefer the term "Tweedsters"

Anon > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:59

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Nah, Otaku is like this:

I prefer the term anime fan.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 19:59

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well, yes, the world at large knows them as Alfisti, I think we need a more Jalop term. I mean the love of Alfas kind of like herpes. It may flare up, or even go into remission for long periods. It's rarely fatal, but you'll never really be free of it. Damn I miss my Alfa.... Good thing I decided to be a FoSTer parent! (wish a side of sweedespeed)

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 04/03/2014 at 20:08

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I won't! :D

bob and john > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 20:08

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MOTORCYCLISTS!!!!

I volunteer to be the leader of that group

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 04/03/2014 at 20:15

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Cool, I got another 3 additions to share tomorrow or the day after, Johnny Lightnings!

crowmolly > JR1 04/03/2014 at 20:21

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In addition I would throw bandit, Camaro68, Takuro (probably botched the spelling), Montego, and probably many others I'm missing.

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 04/03/2014 at 20:27

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Cool!

Johnny Lightnings is hard to find here in Indonesia. I think i only has 2 or 3 of them, all boring econobox.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 04/03/2014 at 20:30

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No econoboxes here, the newcomers are a 1970 Nova, a 1971 Duster and a 1940 Ford :]

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 04/03/2014 at 20:35

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That's cool!

Everytime i saw Johhny Lightning here in Indonesia, it's either the boring Peugeot from early 00's or Prius or the previous gen Civic.

So all my johnny lightnings is just a Peugeot 206, Prius, and Civic.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 04/03/2014 at 20:40

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From the Tuner series? There are some stock looking cars in that one that aren't all bad, though that might be because I collect everything on wheels, even Priuses xD

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 04/03/2014 at 20:50

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No, not that one.

I believe it's the Import heats or something fo the civic.

Yeah, i had 5 prii already. two tomicas, one by RMZ, and one is majorette.

Dusty Ventures > Anon 04/03/2014 at 21:06

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You can't convince me that's not your room.

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > bob and john 04/03/2014 at 21:15

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Motobikes are as follows:

WAR PIGS: Harley/Indian/CRUISER fans

T-Rex Tools- Campagna owners

Busa bros

Desmobromically fanatic: Ducati fans

Vodka Sauce: MV Augusta and Aprilla fans

YAHOOmas: Yamaha FCZ and R1 fans

K-Heads: KTM ADDICTS

Anon > Dusty Ventures 04/03/2014 at 21:26

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drat you got me, what gave it away, the Holo calender?

Aaron James > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 21:47

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Euro fanboys. Think everything European is better simply because it's Euro. (most drive mom's minivan when she's not using it), Likes to hijack polls 'cause Euro, man, Euro.......

bob and john > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 21:57

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and the SV guys?

Dusty Ventures > Anon 04/03/2014 at 22:27

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It helped

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > bob and john 04/03/2014 at 22:27

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Tryhards

Anon > Dusty Ventures 04/03/2014 at 22:42

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Honestly I like to keep my anime related decorations much more tasteful (please excuse the unmade bed)....that being said I would not turn away that Holo calendar :P

AthomSfere > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 22:58

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Yep, the truth hurts when it swings back and hits you in the face.

Roundbadge > Gamecat235 04/03/2014 at 23:07

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This made me giggle like a madman....

bob and john > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/03/2014 at 23:33

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ouch

hethoughtofcars > Aaron James 04/03/2014 at 23:55

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Even though I'm too old to borrow my mom's car (she has a Cube, not a minivan, thank you), this is probably where I slot in. *Sigh*

Aaron James > hethoughtofcars 04/04/2014 at 00:27

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Only if you think the only reason it's great is that it's Euro. I'm a BMW fan myself but I don't think that the only good cars are ones that come from Europe and that all European cars are vastly superior to anything else. Really though the cube is just a mini minivan so it may still count. ;) (thanks for playing along, all in good fun)

hethoughtofcars > Aaron James 04/04/2014 at 00:32

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Yeah, honestly, I'm more of a BMW/MINI/Jaguar/Saab person...but I also love Mazda. Still, a sedan with six gears you row yourself and all the power going to the rear wheels is all I really want. And I helped my mom trade in her New Beetle Turbo S (which I also picked out) to buy that Cube!

Aaron James > hethoughtofcars 04/04/2014 at 00:43

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I can relate to that, I've dreamed of an M5 since they first came back in the 90's. My friends dad had one when we were in high school in the early 90's but we were only allowed to look at it. Not too close though. I did get to drive my other friends dad's corvettes though.

thebigbossyboss > Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull 04/04/2014 at 07:34

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Big bubba ray with the Baja bug too

thebigbossyboss > Bandit 04/04/2014 at 07:35

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MEEE!!!

Stef Schrader > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 04/07/2014 at 16:22

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Ahem. Torch's Beetle is AIRCOOLED.

Coolant is poop!